Thank you for sharing! Perhaps a bit of perspective shift might be helpful. The mind is an amazing instrument and absolutely necessary for this experience. Without it, we would likely not be in body for as long as needed. It is also an aspect of us, meaning that when we look from a point of Self-Love, it cannot be seen as separate…Self-Love, True Love, Unconditional Love, doesn’t make a list of aspects to include or not. The mind has its purpose but we need to see it as something that will be controlled only through the choices we make as to what we will align to. If we maintain positive outlook and reinforce that through choice of thought, the positive will eventually outweigh the negative.
Allowing is a key here also. Most of our thoughts, if we pay attention or even note them, are repetitious and of very little use….many not even our own, just picked up drifting through the collective. Once we are aware of this and come to realization they have little meaning or power, especially relative to the Divine Love in our hearts, we begin to learn how to ALLOW them just to drift through our field or awareness without giving them significance. I sometimes imagine them as a butterfly coming into our vision and just passing by. Perhaps we can get a moment of pleasure for the colors and lightness of flight but then we let go. We run into inner turmoil or conflict when we try to control or fight the mind…it is not likely a fight to be won. SURRENDER and ALLOW. It does well when it simply rides along on a shoulder…not driving.
Turmoil also comes from our expectations on how we think things should be. What if during next session, or practice with the ALLOWING recording, you went into the experience without any? There are no rules or requirements as to how the sessions should be experienced. If you do fall asleep, you may miss a visual or two, or insights that the mind would pick up on but as mentioned before, the mind often gets in the way and in itself is a form of resistance so the field energies often assist us in falling asleep so that we (your Higher Self) can go into deeper levels of the work.
You may find some benefit with learning more about critical inner voice. There’s a good book for that which Jona often recommends, titled “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice” by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D, Lisa Firestone, Ph.d., and Joyce Catlett, M.A. Lots of cool info in there.
It might help also, to write the thoughts down and review. Are there items that repeat, things perhaps that require change or action? Are some worries or frustrations about things you cannot control perhaps? We can ask, like in a popular prayer, our Higher Selves, Divine, or Inner Higher Power for the Serenity to Accept those things. Then we simply Trust that it will be done, and Let Go.
Hope this helps! Thanks again.