The experiences of our youth and childhood help us to form our values, our morals, and even how we view the world. These views of life and patterns development can be very healthy and loving, but also very restrictive and even painful based on what it was we experienced and how we handled it.
All of us have had a combination of these moments as each of us has had moments of love and pain in our lives. Moments where we felt wonderful and times were we felt quite awful. Times where we felt rejected, left alone and hurt, and other times where felt included, accepted, and that we belonged.
The combined experiences that we have is partially what makes up where we are at, but maybe better to say where we are going. As via our focus and intention, we paint our lives…or what we tend to hold in mind, comes to us.
And, when our life feels like it needs a bit of change or healing, sometimes we will notice that some of these old pains and patterns come up from within us as we go about trying to change our lives or change our direction.
We’ll see old memories, feel fear of repeating what hurt, what failed us, or who harmed us coming in as we attempt to become more open and real. We’ll see repetitive patterns, defensive mental constructs and ways of coping that help us dodge, distract, numb or stimulate us in other areas to help us keep out of what hurt or what failed.
We may even feel that some of these patterns have been there much longer than just this life and many times this is so as our patterns of childhood can demonstrate our karma quite effectively.
And, by seeing these patterns in us, there is an opportunity for great change and the ability to effectively face our karma, our pain, and let go of restriction and suffering that can really stifle our lives and our creativity as well as our vulnerability and the willingness to try new things.
Now, most of us when these memories and pains appear to go into ego-based coping. Programs such as mental control, justification, judgment, denial and so on are just a few examples of these ego-based coping mechanisms that usually form very early on in life and develop as we grow.
These patterns do their job well, but the outcome isn’t likely what we really want as in ego-based coping there is no long-term change or the ability to face things as the ego is all about keeping us out of the trauma and pain of the past.
Now, coping is not bad at all, and part of being human. It can lead us to learn to find new ways of experiencing life as well as limiting it depending on how we cope or deal with things.
For example, the distraction or control mentioned above is effective as it allows us to get past various feelings, memories, and dodging some of the emotional impact that is arising. It allows us to keep functioning even though it is limiting and typically misleading or confusing.
But, that is it…no real change except the enhancing the ego coping program.
Healthier ways of coping, such as meditation or introspection, can also be a way of dealing with fear or anger, but there is a difference with meditative or contemplative techniques.
Where the ego dodges, meditation or introspective methods work to face the issues and let them go allowing for very effective change and long-term healing.
Ego-based coping responses (mental control, justifications, judgments, etc.) are all based on separating, not feeling, enhancing other stimuli to dodge the emotions, and so on. They also keep our energy lower and more limited.
Heart-based coping is based on facing, accepting and allowing that eventually leads to letting go and true long-term change in our view of life, heart connection and the ability to be open and even loving. It also enhances or supports expansion and faster vibratory levels.
And, when we look at these two avenues, it obvious that although both are ways of coping, only one gives the potential for true change or release. By facing and connecting with our past pains and experiences, we open a line of communication with our past, and even our karma, that can lead not only to releasing negative programming but also lead to finding out lost needs and wants that can add tremendously to our lives.
Imagine if you could let all judgment go right now and nothing outside of you mattered…all that mattered was that you expressed yourself freely in the way you needed best. If you could truly do this right, most would feel very light, want to move a bit, even dance or play in some way as from a heart level true expression is of the moment and there is much less thinking and much less following what is coming up from within.
This state is possible and requires only a bit of reflection, connection, acceptance and the courage to try a few new ways. All you have to do is agree to try and see how change can come if you are willing to face your patterns and pains as opposed to dodging them…you have to have the courage to face the repetitive dodging mechanisms of the ego and begin to agree to feel into them and see what ties you to them still.
If you are willing to do a bit of work, with time, your life and your direction will change to something that likely you didn’t believe was possible.
Energy Coach & Founder of Selfunification
If you are looking for an effective way to face old restrictions and pains, come check out our Inner Child Transmission this Friday the 15th @ 9 PM MST. This guided meditation, spoken by Jona Bryndis & Jeff Casper helps to connect with lost or hidden parts of our psyche (or younger self) in the hopes to connect further and help heal the ties we still have to old limitations and thought patterns from our formative years via heart-based methods that allow for deep reflection and connection. Come check it out!
Click here for more information or to sign up!